Fanart, Fanfiction and Fangirling

A post I saw on Tumblr today made me realise I've been in fandom for 25 years. TWENTY. FIVE. YEARS. More than half of my life. I don't remember the exact date, but it all started in spring of the year 2000. I know because I read my very first slash fanfic in the university computer lab while I was searching for Cure stuff. Bloodflowers had just come out and I was obsessed with The Cure, and while I was browsing fansites looking for photos, I stumbled upon one that hosted fanfiction. And my life changed forever.

It's something I've already written about, but if I hadn't clicked on that link, a lot would be different in my life. And it's not just the fact that I started writing fanfiction and went back to drawing: fandom was behind some pretty important things I did, like moving to Berlin, or attending a summer workshop at UCLA. Maybe I would still have found fandom one way or another, but things would be different. I wouldn't have got into the same fandoms at the same time I did, I wouldn't have met the same people, wouldn't have made the same choices. It's the butterfly effect.

Anyway, I got a little nostalgic thinking about what a huge impact fandom, and especially fanfiction, had (and still has) on my life. Sometimes I think there must be something wrong with me, because "normal people" don't spend their time making up more or less elaborate scenarios about their favourite characters over and over. But I really couldn't imagine my life without fandom. And even if one day I stop writing and drawing, fandom will always be a big part of me, a part that helped me through some really tough times, so I'll always be grateful to it and to that fateful day in the uni computer lab.

I should really finish editing that Nick/Greg fic, but I got an idea for a Lupin/Jigen ficlet that I just had to write. I don't even know where I got the idea from, but who cares. Inspiration is inspiration, right?




Title: Mon cœur
Fandom: Lupin III
Pairing: Lupin/Jigen
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Summary: Jigen doesn't like a certain term of endearment

"Mon cœur..." Lupin murmured, pressing himself against Jigen's back and placing a kiss on the gunman's naked shoulder.

Jigen immediately tensed up.

"Don't."

Read the rest on AO3

I posted this on Instagram and Tumblr yesterday, but I didn't have time to post it here. The usual silly birthday doodle for schwimmerin, featuring a certain guitarist from a certain band aus Berlin. :)

Happy Valentine's Day! I didn't have anything planned for today, but a few days ago I got inspired and went back to a ficlet I had started a while ago and never finished. It's silly rather than romantic, but it's better than nothing, right? I might even write a smutty sequel, stay tuned.



Title: Professor Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Greg likes Nick's new look.
A/N: Inspired by this gif.

...

"I like the new look, it gives off sexy professor vibes."

Nick looked up from the newspaper he was reading. Greg was standing in the doorway, looking at him with a little smile.

"Is that a new kink of yours?" he asked, amused.

"It can be," Greg answered, walking into the room. "Oh, professor Stokes, I really don't want to fail this class. I'm willing to do anything to improve my grades. Anything," he added, stopping next to him and leaning a hip against the table in what Nick was sure was supposed to be a seductive pose.

He shook his head.

"You're such a freak."

Read the rest on AO3.

Challenge #15

Talk about an unexpected joyous moment you experienced last year.

I wanted to post the last Snowflake entry during the month of January, but I had a slight change in plans these last couple of days. Anyway, a joyous moment from 2024 was definitely when some friends who play in a band dedicated "Black Celebration" to me during a concert. It was the weekend just after my birthday, which I promptly renamed "Black Celebration Weekend", because I went to see these friends on Friday night (they play '80s/New Wave/Electro covers) and then to a Depeche Mode concert on Saturday. I was really hoping they would dedicate that song to me, and was so, so happy when they did! :D

It's that time of the year again, time for Greg Sanders to wear silly outfits to celebrate Lunar New Year. This year featuring a not-so-impressed Nick Stokes too.

( Year of the Snake )

Challenge #11

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme.

My favourite tropes/clichés haven't changed much in the last couple of years. Let's see:

Friends to lovers: I just love this dynamic. Two people who have known each other their whole life (or at least a few years) slowly (or suddenly) realising what they feel is not just friendship. Wanting more but being afraid their feelings are not returned, with the risk of ruining their friendship forever. Finally confessing their feelings, being terrified of what might happen, but unable to hide any longer.

Pining/Mutual pining: it could be a variation of friends to lovers, but not necessarily. I just love seeing two characters dance around each other until they can't take it any more. Or one of the two following the other around like a puppy, convinced their feeling will never be returned, but unable to walk away. Just as long as there's a happy ending.

Hurt/Comfort: I love when one character suffers, either physically or emotionally or both, and the other one is right there to comfort them. Cradling them in their arms and whispering that everything will be all right. What's not to love?

Challenge #8

In your own space, write a promo, manifesto or primer for a beloved character, relationship or fandom.

Challenge #9

In your own space, create a fanwork.

I fell a little behind with Snowflake this week, but this delay gave me the perfect opportunity to kill the proverbial two birds with one stone.

I'm going to ramble about my favourite character from Lupin III, Daisuke Jigen, but first, have a little drawing by yours truly:



Lupin III is one of the anime I grew up with, I remember coming home from middle school and watching it on TV before doing my homework. Jigen is not just Lupin's sidekick: he's a loyal partner, his best friend, the one person Lupin can always count on to save the day (and get his sorry ass out of the most absurd situations). He's an excellent marksman and can use just about any kind of gun/rifle/weapon, just like he can drive and fix any kind of vehicle (cars, airplanes, helicopters etc.)

He's a chain smoker, a little lazy (he's often portrayed lounging on sofas or on the floor in between jobs or while Lupin prepares for a heist), and he's usually the voice of reason when Lupin's plans get a little out of hand.

He's often described as a misogynist and generally doesn't trust women, but he sometimes shows interest towards a woman. Too bad his potential love interests tend to either die or betray him (hence his distrust towards them).

He's taciturn and kinda grumpy, but he's also fiercely protective and can be very gentle, especially towards people who need help (and children, even if he's always saying he can't stand them). I personally think he's a marshmallow of a man: scorched and bitter on the outside, but soft and sweet on the inside.

As a hardcore Jigen fan, I loved the live-action "Jigen Daisuke" film, but I think my favourite is "Jigen's Gravestone" (both are available on Prime Video). The latter has the added bonus of Jigen "dying" and being gently cradled in Lupin's arms.



I could go on and on, but I think I rambled enough for today. :3

Challenge #5

Talk about what has improved in your life thanks to fandom.

I could write an essay about this, but I'll try to limit myself to a few key points.

First of all, fandom made me realise I can write and draw. Shortly after I discovered fanfiction, I decided I wanted to try my hand at it. It was a challenge at first, as English isn't my native language, but I improved a lot thanks to all the fics I read and wrote. Same with fanart: I've always like drawing (I started drawing my own comics in primary school), but I've never been particularly good. In the last few years, though, I've tried to put some effort into my drawings and, even if I'm not what you'd call a "talented artist", I definitely improved.

Then, thanks to fandom I made friends and built wonderful memories. This is especially true for the Die Ärzte fandom (a German band): I'm still in contact with a few of the people I met online and, even if we live in different countries (or different continents!), we still write to each other and meet up when we happen to be in the same area. Last time it was just a few months ago. I went to so many great concerts and had so many crazy adventures, and none of that would have happened without fandom.

Lastly, fandom is what has been keeping me sane for years. Whenever real life gets too stressful, I know I can count on fandom to distract me for a while. In part it's also the reason why, when I really couldn't go on at my old job any longer, I decided to quit, leave everything behind, and move to Berlin. That was one of the best decisions of my life and exactly what I needed at the time, but I don't think I would've done it without fandom. Of course there's a long story behind that, but I'm not getting into details here.

Anyway, these are just some of the reasons why fandom is so important for me and how it improved (and continues to improve) my life.

Challenge #3

In your own space, talk about a fannish opinion you hold that has changed over time.

I didn't know what to write at first, then I remembered how I got into the CSI fandom a few years ago. I was going through a very stressful period at work and started watching CSI reruns as a way to relax. (Yeah, I found a TV show about people getting murdered relaxing. It was a stressful period.)

Anyway, at first I just enjoyed watching the show and wasn't interested in the fandom side of it. Then I started thinking Hodges and Wendy were cute together and looked for fics on AO3, but only found a handful. I read a couple of Grissom/Sara fics, but that wasn't really my thing. Then I saw there were A LOT of Nick/Greg fics. And I clearly remember thinking "What? No, they're just friends!" (Oh, sweet summer child...)

But after a while I got desperate for content and decided to give it a try. I mean, I usually love slash, so why not? And all of a sudden, everything just made perfect sense. I kept reading fic after fic, I just couldn't get enough. (Carolinecrane's account on AO3 in particular was a goldmine.)

Still, I was convinced I wouldn't create anything in the CSI fandom, I would simply limit myself to reading fics, and that would be it. Well, 41 fics, a few WIPs and some fanart pieces later, I can say without fear of contradiction I definitely changed my mind about the Nick/Greg ship and my involvement in the fandom.