Again and again and again...

[gothikmaus]

No. Oh, no. I'm thinking of it again. Searching a job as an Italian teacher and moving to Berlin.

Why should I? I have a good job with a good income. Too bad I hate it. Well, maybe hate isn't the right word, but programming has never been my dream job. It's tedious and nerve-wracking at the same time, I definitely preferred the things I did during the internship at the theatre. But I was jobless when I got the offer 4 years ago and it sounded interesting at the time. And I thought "If I don't like it, I'll look for something else." But actually finding something is another thing entirely.

I've always said I would never become a teacher because I have no patience at all, but everyone keeps telling me I'd do great. I tutored pretty much my whole class during high school, and in Maths, the subject I hated most. Plus some English and German tutoring during university. Teaching my own language shouldn't be too difficult, I mean, I am a grammar freak after all. I even look up the etymology of words in the dictionary and find it funny. A bit of a brush up and...

There I go again. What's this need to leave it all behind and just run away? It must be because yesterday I was wasting time on MySpace and came across Schwarwel's drawing course. I remember I had read about it last summer, when there was still the chance I would do my internship in Leipzig, and since the course takes place there I thought "Whouldn't it be cool if I could make it?"

But things didn't go that way.

And then there's my writing. If only I could find a way to make a living out of it, but finding a publisher is so damn difficult. And all I have are short stories and unfinished novels. I thought of collaborating with some websites, and that's why I opened an Italian blog, but that's not easy either.

Why can't I be happy with what I have? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Comments

[miss-elektra.livejournal.com]

I think absolutely nothing's wrong with you. If you don't question what you've got every now and then how will you ever know if there's something better for you? That doesn't mean that you have to change everything but I think it's important to keep your options in mind.
By the way: I always thought that I couldn't be a teacher, because I'm rather impatient and I also thought I couldn't explain very well. But up to now it has worked very well for me.
I think it's great that you have your dreams even if you don't realise them immediately.
As far as the writing is concerned: I always thought that you shouldn't try to make a living out of what you love to do msot. It could spoil it for you.
(That was just some rendom rambling because I found your entry extremely interesting :D)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

So you're a teacher? What subject do you teach? Was it difficult to find a job? Do you like what you're doing?

Sorry for the many questions, but as I'm considering all my options I'd like to have an idea of the pros and cons. :)

Well, there is the possibility that turning a hobby into a job will spoil it, I love drawing comics but if I had to do it as a professional I'd probably die, it's way too stressful. And I lack the basic techniques anyway. But getting paid to do something I like would be wonderful, maybe just as collaborations, something to do beside a main job.

It's the "main" job my real problem, I'd like something in the marketing/communication field, that's what I was searching for after getting my degree, but I couldn't find anything and so I ended up becoming a computer programmer. There are worse jobs, I know, but after doing an internship in the marketing office of a theatre last year, getting back to programming seems even duller than I remembered.

Thanks for the comment, I always appreciate it when people take the time to reply to my boring rants. :)

[miss-elektra.livejournal.com]

I teach German, Philosophy and Art and it wasn't particularly difficult to find a job. Actually there's currently a lack of teachers in Germany especially in the subjects Maths, Physics and Spanish. As far as I know they are also desperately looking for native speakers of all kinds of languages to teach at schools or Universities.
I really do love my job. I've tried a lot of things (like writing for a newspaper or working as a director's assistant in a theatre) but teaching is the first job I really enjoyed. I never thought I'd like is as much though.
Programming computers sounds like a very demanding job. I don't think I could do that, even though it sounds interesting.

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I think there's a lack of Maths and Physics teachers everywhere, it's the same here in Italy. ^_^

I guess looking for a job abroad from here is more difficult and I'll also need to understand how contracts work in Germany, if you need to pay an insurance and stuff like that, but my German friend could help me out with that.

I'll just keep looking around. Thanks for your comments, they were very helpful. :)

[unbelangbar.livejournal.com]

Heya, that sounds like a really great idea and who knows... maybe when you are happy in Germany, you will have more patience for teaching. IF you like your surrounds and are comfortable with what you are doing, I think the cards will fall into place perfectly.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are like the many millions out there (including me) who are just following the daily grind... I wish I was still in Germany. That was a leap of faith that I took to get there and did everything possible to stay, but got screwed. *g* But that's besides the point, I think you should give it a try with the teaching gig. :) Best of luck with whatever you decide. ^^ *big hugs*

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

I actually found a couple of interesting job offers in the event-organization field during the weekend and I sent my CV, but I'm afraid I don't have enough experience. I'm almost done with my master course in event management, I only have to hand in the final paper, and my internship at the theatre was very useful, I hope they will at least give me a chance and call me for an interview.

But I also started looking for language schools in Berlin, if all else fails...