Relatives, meme and thoughts

[gothikmaus]

I just got back from a "family lunch". Yes, at 5 pm. We're in Italy after all. ;) Our American relatives are here, so we had lunch all together in a restaurant in our town before they leave for Abruzzo tomorrow. There were 39 people and some of my cousins didn't even come. Yes, I have quite a big family, let me just tell you I'm the youngest among 21 cousins and now some of these cousins have children of their own. Oh, of course that's just my dad's part of the family, then there's my mother's, but we don't really get along all that well with them.



Anyway. The top 5 feelings meme, nicked from schwimmerin. In no particular order.

- Travelling

- Working out the bass line of a song I like

- Getting feedback for something I wrote/drew

- Hugs

- Getting compliments from people who mean it


While I was thinking of what my top 5 feelings are, I remembered how good I felt when I took my parents to the station a month ago. I wasn't leaving with them, but just being there made me feel strangely excited, made me think of my own holidays in September. The moments just before leaving, when I'm waiting in a station or an airport are the ones I like most, along with the moments just after I arrive in a foreign city and I know I have all my holiday ahead of me.


And that reminded me of one of my biggest regrets, the fact that I didn't travel after finishing university, but started looking for a job straight away. Well, not really straight away, I graduated mid-November and started job-hunting after Christmas, but you get the idea. I really wanted to go somewhere, but none of my friends could go with me at the time, they were either still studying or already working and couldn't follow me around for months. And my mother convinced me not to go on my own.

That's always been one of the main problems, my mother's anxiousness. She has her reasons, and I understand her, but I feel like I missed some good opportunities because I was trying to please her. I wanted to attend an art-oriented high school, but she said "You can choose anything but that", so I chose a language-oriented school; I wanted to study Oriental Culture at university, but she said "No way you're going to Venice" (because only the universities of Venice and Rome had that faculty), so I chose a university in Milan and studied Sociology. Now, I'm glad I went to that language school, it's one of the best in this area, if not in Italy, and if I'd really wanted to go to Venice I could've just gone, even if my parents were against it. But I've always been a coward and the idea of going to another city on my own did scare me a bit, so I let my mum talk me out of it.

Back on travelling. I'd really like a job that would allow me to travel and the one I have now could, but there are problems as well. I've been a programmer for 2 years now and I've always worked in Milan, but they could send me anywhere. Which is cool, because I would get to see different places, but it's also stressful, because I never really know where I'm going to be in 6 six months time. And I can't really plan anything long-term. At the moment I'm living with my parents because a) flats are bloody expensive in Milan and b) what if I get a flat of my own and then they send me 500 KM away? That would be just a waste of money.

Besides, I don't want to do this job for the rest of my life, but it's quite well paid, so it'll do for the moment. Some of my dream-jobs are off-limits, because, let's face it, I'm not talented enough to draw comics for a living, I'm not much of a photographer and I'm too damn shy to be a film dubber, even if a few people told me I should give it a try. But I know I can write and I'd love to become a writer. It's gonna be tough though, so I'm trying to save as much money as I can now, so I won't be starving poor if my project fails. But sometimes everything just feels so meaningless and I think I'm never going to make it.

Damn, I didn't want to end on such a negative note. *sigh*


And I can only watch the first 30 seconds of Bela's video at Sarah Kuttner's Show because the internet connection sucks, so I'll have to wait till Monday. AND HOTMAIL'S NOT WORKING! ARGH!

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/phistolemon_/]

to read about italian families and having lunch/dinner reminds me of the trip I made to italy last year 8DD
there was this holiday and the family I was in got invited to a friend's, so I went with them of course and oh my god, they had this huge family (although they were less than your family, I guess...anyway! that family was HUGE in my opinion!)
in that really nice house... neighbours were there, too, and..the table was gigantic.

I dno how long it exactly took but we ate several HOURS. I dno how some of you italians can still be so thin 8D like you *lol* I mean, you eat like...all the time? when I was there I just couldn't always eat when they did, I was still filled with breakfast or whatever there was I had before 8D;;
it was tasty, yesch!, but too much *pant*


yeah, that was quite random 8D don't talk about food and huge families anymore!

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, yes, my family's HUGE, my father has 10 siblings. 8D And Italian social life is very food-centric, we meet for special occasions and eat eat eat till we can't even get up anymore. :P And duh, I can assure you I'm NOT thin.

When/where did you go in Italy? And don't complain, you've never had to endure a WHOLE CHRISTMAS LUNCH the Italian way! XD We usually eat for a week with the leftovers. And my mother doesn't even cook a big Xmas lunch compared to the average Italian family... :P

[http://users.livejournal.com/phistolemon_/]

And Italian social life is very food-centric
I GOT THAT, lolololol 8DDDDDD;;

Hmm, I was there last year in.. may, I guess. for 5 days, in rimini :-)
though the family I lived with lived.. far away from the actual city. we had to
drive one hour with the bus to get to her school (Albert Einstein school or so...very strange 8D), the bus btw was a killing machine.
that girl I was with told me, as we were in, that it's normal to have accidents
with that thing! I was shocked! I mean the roads were almost too small for the bus
and he was driving too damn fast! gah!

And don't complain, you've never had to endure a WHOLE CHRISTMAS LUNCH the Italian way! XD We usually eat for a week with the leftovers. And my mother doesn't even cook a big Xmas lunch compared to the average Italian family... :P
LOL oh gawd 8DDD well it was...mother's day or something? I can't really remember.. but hell, it was hot and far too much food for me. especially too much meat. they had noodles and stuff, too, but at some point I couldn't stand the sight of a damn noodle 8D

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Haha, welcome to the wonderful world of Italian buses! XD I've always thought Germans and Northern Europeans in general must be shocked when they come to Italy because our transport system is so crappy compared to yours. Once I went to a concert in Milan with a Greek guy and he told me not even in Athens they had such crappy buses. *shakes head*

Yes, it was probably Mother's Day, I can't think of any other holiday in May. Did they stuff you with lasagne and fettuccine? XD

[http://users.livejournal.com/phistolemon_/]

lol! why yes, it was shocking. I'm glad we didn't have one of those...accidents *phew*

lol, yes, I can recall the lasagne. but what is fettuccine? xD
they had sandwhichs, too, and noodles and... chicken and even rabit or something like that -_-;; I didn't eat that though..

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Fettuccine are like noodles, only flat and wider than regular spaghetti. Here, have a look. (http://images.google.it/images?q=fettuccine&ie=UTF-8&hl=it&oe=UTF-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:it:official&sa=N&tab=wi) It's incredible how many different kinds of pasta we have... :P

[schwimmerin.livejournal.com]

I know what it's like not to follow your dreams. For a long time I just wanted to get on a plane to Germany and get away from my own life. I mean, it was a huge step for my mom to let me go to college so far away -- but I think she knows, too, that she and I would both never forgive her if I had been made to stay at home. And that's what last summer was really about for me too, trying to do something I had planned for myself. It didn't go exactly as I planned, but it was more than worth it.

It's hard to strike out on your own, though, and it's a mother's nature (at least the good ones) to be protective and worried all the time. *hugs* It's never too late to travel though -- at least you're going to Berlin now, right? :) (And going to see FURT, I might add *cough*)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

I understand her, I really do, I'm her only child and it's normal for her to think "Oh my God, my little girl all alone in a foreign city!" But sometimes she's just too anxious and over-protective. *sigh*

Yes, I can still travel, but it's not the same now that I'm working. Now I can have a 2 or 3-week holiday in summer and maybe a couple of weekends off and that's it. If I had taken the opportunity after finishing uni, I could have traveled around for months, then come back and start looking for a job. Oh well, what's done is done.

Why can't I have a job that allows me to, say, take a year off and go to Japan? ;) DamnyouFarinIenvyyousomuch!!!

[achtanablah.livejournal.com]

That's impressive. I have a total of..1 cousins.:)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

I never even meet most of them, even if we all live quite close. One of the youngest cousins (she's 3 years older than me) was talking to my mum, then she turned to me and said "That's Alex? I didn't even recognise her! Oh my God, when did you get so tall?" XD