H50 ficlet: All I ever needed
Sep. 24th, 2011 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gothikmausWell, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I thought of writing a companion piece to "All I ever wanted", but apparently I have no control over these two. I really wanted them to kiss and make up but, damn, they're being stubborn. Sorry about that.
Also, I'm sure this ficlet ended up being a weird mixture of British and American English, please feel free to point out if anything sounds terribly wrong.
Title: All I ever needed
Pairing: Steve/Danny (pre-slash), Danny/Rachel (implied)
Rating: PG
Word count: ~690
Warnings/Spoilers: 1.24 and 2.01
Summary: Who could blame Danny for choosing the easy way out?
Author's note: Companion piece to "All I ever wanted". Basically the same story told through Danny's POV. Title once again ripped from Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the silence".
Danny's not blind. He notices the way Steve stands just a little too close sometimes, how his stare gets a little too intense. He just chooses to play dumb. Because this thing between them, whatever it is, has the potential to end spectacularly bad and he doesn't want to go through all the drama again.
Which doesn't mean he hasn't been tempted to give in, because he's not a saint either and even a Tibetan monk who just reached Nirvana would lose his composure around Steve fucking McGarrett. Also, if he's completely honest to himself, he loves the flirting. It reminds him of the times before his marriage, when a charming smile and a well-thought compliment was all he needed to start a conversation. But then Rachel happened and the flirting stopped. He hadn't even realized just how much he had missed it until Steve had forced himself into his life with all the grace he usually saved for kicking doors open and started what could only be described as "pulling his pigtails".
And so he goes along with it, calling him "babe" and never turning down a chance to tease and bicker like the proverbial married couple. But when the tension gets too thick, when he can feel Steve is on the verge of doing something that would change the dynamics between them for good, he always takes a step back. He isn’t a coward, it’s just self-preservation. Because if precedents are anything to go by, taking their relationship any further than "work partners" or "friends" could very well end up in flames. Literally as well as figuratively.
When Rachel tells him she's pregnant, he is relieved. Sure, he's giddy and thrilled and just as excited as when she had told him about Grace, but he's also happy for having been given another chance to have a normal life, one where you get home to your wife and kids after a long day at work, not where you spend half your waking hours trying not to imagine how it would feel if your boss pushed you against a wall in the middle of a chase and kissed you senseless. Who could blame him for choosing the easy way out? He just needs some stability after all he has been through.
But of course his life could never be easy. Even before finding out the baby isn't his, Danny knows Rachel doesn't stand a chance. What kind of husband would abandon his pregnant wife (the "ex" bit didn’t really matter at the time) to go rescue a man who was caught on a crime scene holding a smoking gun in his hand?
And that's how he finds himself sitting on Steve's sofa, being hugged as if he's a little kid who needs to be comforted. And when Steve asks him if he loves Rachel, he can only nod. He does love her. He just doesn't know if he loves her more than he loves Steve.
Steve's arms tighten around him and he goes on telling Danny he can always count on him. As if Danny didn't know what Steve is really trying to say.
He pulls back and looks at him. It could be so easy: Danny would just have to close his eyes and press his lips against Steve's; Steve would be all too happy to help him forget. But how would that be any different from sleeping with Rachel when she was trying to figure out if things with Stan could be fixed? He doesn't want to make the same mistake.
So he stands up and gets ready to go. And when Steve makes a casual teasing comment, it's easy to fall back into the familiar bantering routine. Of course he can also see all the things Steve isn't saying, but those will have to wait. Right now he needs to go home and sleep. Tomorrow they will go back to normal, or what can be considered normal for them, and maybe, just maybe, Danny won't avert his gaze next time Steve looks at him as if he's trying to stare right into his soul.
Also, I'm sure this ficlet ended up being a weird mixture of British and American English, please feel free to point out if anything sounds terribly wrong.
Title: All I ever needed
Pairing: Steve/Danny (pre-slash), Danny/Rachel (implied)
Rating: PG
Word count: ~690
Warnings/Spoilers: 1.24 and 2.01
Summary: Who could blame Danny for choosing the easy way out?
Author's note: Companion piece to "All I ever wanted". Basically the same story told through Danny's POV. Title once again ripped from Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the silence".
Danny's not blind. He notices the way Steve stands just a little too close sometimes, how his stare gets a little too intense. He just chooses to play dumb. Because this thing between them, whatever it is, has the potential to end spectacularly bad and he doesn't want to go through all the drama again.
Which doesn't mean he hasn't been tempted to give in, because he's not a saint either and even a Tibetan monk who just reached Nirvana would lose his composure around Steve fucking McGarrett. Also, if he's completely honest to himself, he loves the flirting. It reminds him of the times before his marriage, when a charming smile and a well-thought compliment was all he needed to start a conversation. But then Rachel happened and the flirting stopped. He hadn't even realized just how much he had missed it until Steve had forced himself into his life with all the grace he usually saved for kicking doors open and started what could only be described as "pulling his pigtails".
And so he goes along with it, calling him "babe" and never turning down a chance to tease and bicker like the proverbial married couple. But when the tension gets too thick, when he can feel Steve is on the verge of doing something that would change the dynamics between them for good, he always takes a step back. He isn’t a coward, it’s just self-preservation. Because if precedents are anything to go by, taking their relationship any further than "work partners" or "friends" could very well end up in flames. Literally as well as figuratively.
When Rachel tells him she's pregnant, he is relieved. Sure, he's giddy and thrilled and just as excited as when she had told him about Grace, but he's also happy for having been given another chance to have a normal life, one where you get home to your wife and kids after a long day at work, not where you spend half your waking hours trying not to imagine how it would feel if your boss pushed you against a wall in the middle of a chase and kissed you senseless. Who could blame him for choosing the easy way out? He just needs some stability after all he has been through.
But of course his life could never be easy. Even before finding out the baby isn't his, Danny knows Rachel doesn't stand a chance. What kind of husband would abandon his pregnant wife (the "ex" bit didn’t really matter at the time) to go rescue a man who was caught on a crime scene holding a smoking gun in his hand?
And that's how he finds himself sitting on Steve's sofa, being hugged as if he's a little kid who needs to be comforted. And when Steve asks him if he loves Rachel, he can only nod. He does love her. He just doesn't know if he loves her more than he loves Steve.
Steve's arms tighten around him and he goes on telling Danny he can always count on him. As if Danny didn't know what Steve is really trying to say.
He pulls back and looks at him. It could be so easy: Danny would just have to close his eyes and press his lips against Steve's; Steve would be all too happy to help him forget. But how would that be any different from sleeping with Rachel when she was trying to figure out if things with Stan could be fixed? He doesn't want to make the same mistake.
So he stands up and gets ready to go. And when Steve makes a casual teasing comment, it's easy to fall back into the familiar bantering routine. Of course he can also see all the things Steve isn't saying, but those will have to wait. Right now he needs to go home and sleep. Tomorrow they will go back to normal, or what can be considered normal for them, and maybe, just maybe, Danny won't avert his gaze next time Steve looks at him as if he's trying to stare right into his soul.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 12:33 pm (UTC)I liked getting Danny's POV and I can understand that he doesn't want to ruin things with Steve, but maybe sometime soon, he'll be ready to take a chance.
Lovely work on this :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 01:32 pm (UTC)This is wonderful. And I am secretly hoping you're not done with this story yet. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 04:05 pm (UTC)\o/ Awesome. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-25 09:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-25 10:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-25 10:37 am (UTC)