On fandom and slash

[gothikmaus]

After reading flaschengeist and curiousfunk's entries on fandom, I feel the need to add my two cents. To... justify myself, so to speak.

Sherlock Holmes has been all over my LJ in the last couple of weeks. Of course I've always known the character, and I must've read some of his adventures when I was in school, but I think I was too fascinated by Poe's Auguste Dupin to really pay attention at the time. :P Anyway, just when I was thinking that I'd been in the DÄ fandom for 5 year (I discovered DÄ slash in summer 2005) and that must be a record for me, I fell headfirst into a new fandom. I still love DÄ and I can't wait to see them live again, but I needed something new. And Sherlock Holmes just happens to be this "something new".

If I analyse my relationship with fandom, I can clearly see that, even though I enjoy a hot PWP, it's the relationship between the main characters the thing that fascinates me. The angstier (is that even a word?), the better. I like deep friendships, damaged characters who are apparently unable to love, USTs. All my fandoms have had those elements: The Cure (Robert/Simon), Harry Potter (Snape), Die Ärzte (Bela/Farin), Sherlock Holmes (Holmes/Watson), just to name the ones where I've been more active.

More than once I've felt ashamed of this hobby of mine. Lately I've felt ridiculous because, man, I'm thirty and I still read and write fanfiction and draw fanart. Sometimes I think of that woman I met at a comic fair 10 years ago, a 40-something nerd who claimed she only read yaoi and shonen ai manga and I remember thinking "OMG, I don't want to turn into such a loser!" Sometimes I'm afraid I'm just like her. Sometimes I think reading slash doesn't make me any better than those women who read Harlequin novels and dream of Prince Charming. Sometimes I think I should just grow up, for God's sake.

But you know what? I don't care. A friend of mine who just moved in with her boyfriend has two framed photos of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill in her sitting room. One of my friends' father, an old hippy, positively worships The Beatles and their house is full of Beatles memorabilia. Are they ashamed of that? Hell, no. Then why should I?

That's because I like an added twist to my canon. I like the relationship between "my" characters to go a step further. I mean, why add anything to a canon that has little gems like "How Watson Learned the Trick"? Better than crack!fic and 100% canon. But sometimes I need a little more.

I don't care about the speculations on Holmes and Watson and whether they were really "only good friends". Just like I don't care if the musicians I write about are straight, gay, bi or whatever they want to call themselves. Just as long as they give me enough material to build my sick little universe featuring them.

I don't like stories where characters cry uselessly, but I love when a story makes me choke down a sob and curse myself for getting so involved. Where the characters aren't even aware of their feelings until they are in so deep they can't breathe any more. I know such stories don't happen in real life, or at leat they don't happen to me, that's why I enjoy reading them.

I should just stop pretending I'm so much better than everyone else and admit I'm just a big sappy romantic.


This entry has become much more revealing than was originally planned...

Comments

[angrylogic.livejournal.com]

Noooooooooooooo. NEVER GROW UP. There's a huge difference between growing up and being mature. I know countless people who think "growing up" consists of doing stuff like getting a "real job"/being married/pumping out a few kids and you know what? They are the most immature people I know. It's like they live their lives by a checklist and switching off things like fandom is key to adulthood. Then I know people who work hard, even have their own businesses, have their kids and wife's and still have a shrine to comics in their sitting rooms, who wear nothing but Batman t-shirts and have really childish senses of humour.

I mean, I have a pretty respectable job, but then when I come home I play Pokémon until my fingers bleed. I'm twenty five; I shouldn't be playing Pokémon, but I honestly don't give a shit what other people think about (plus I'd kick their ass with my ten+ years of Poké-knowledge). I have Pokémon stuff that I covet so much I've never even taken it out of the packaging. Now that is sad, but I honestly don't have an interest in doing anything that constitutes as being "grown up". I get really defensive of creepy old men that love train spotting because usually they are being slagged by a "grown up" person who is living a miserable life when the train spotter is just so ridiculously happy with his hobby that it makes me all happy in return.

I point blank refuse to ever grow up. The day I grow up is the day I start liking olives, which will be never. I'm just lucky I have parents that gave up on me in my childhood and a partner who leaves me to things :3 And how does not being romantic make a person better than another? Romance is fantastic, if you do it right i.e. not the wine-and-dine, but the other way, which I can't really put into words XD If I got wined-and-dined, I'd die. Seriously. Not that I'm a cheap date but Jesus, 21st century courtship just doesn't do it for me.

BTW I know someone in her 40s who reads nothing but yaoi and she's amazing XD

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

The thing about the 40-something woman was that I had this image in my mind, of myself old and bitter with just my yaoi collection and a few cats for company. I was positively terrified of ending up like that. XD (By the way, I used to read yaoi comics for a couple of years, but they were so bad I sold them all. :P)

I have no problems with being a nerd or a fan of something, it's slash that still causes me a certain amount of discomfort. I mean, I've been reading and writing slash for 10 bloody years and I still feel... dirty about it. I blame my Catholic upbringing! D:

[angrylogic.livejournal.com]

Lol, most of them are terrible, aren't they? I do like a cheesy comic now and again though, and you can't get much cheesier than schoolboys declaring their undying love to each other before screwing X3

Technically if you were reading/writing het stuff that would be shameful too. I can't see how liking slash/any kind of romance is a bad thing :)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, both shojo and shonen ai manga are so full of tears and declarations of love and "Oh, senpai..." Wonderful. XD

I'm not against romance per se, just the stereotyped clichés surrounding it. But maybe it's just the story of the fox and the grapes, I've become all "Down with romance!" because no one has ever been romantic to me. *dramatic sob* :P

[angrylogic.livejournal.com]

Doesn't it depend on what your definition of "romance" is ? ;)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Well, my idea of a perfect romantic moment is walking in the rain, the person who's with me stops, grabs my hand, pulls me close and kisses me.

If any guy did that, he'd probably have my heart forever. ;_;

[matitablu.livejournal.com]

Penso che prima o dopo tutti ci poniamo questo problema ^^;; "sto diventando una variazione dell'uomo fumetto dei Simpson?" (mi ricordo che, penso proprio per questo, quando frequentavo la scuola di comics molti ci tenevano a ribadire la propria NON nerdaggine... vabbè, e qui si aprirebbe tutta una serie di considerazioni)... però credo che, alla fine, se non lasci che fagociti tutto il resto anche il fandom è un hobby come un altro. Anche se "hobby" è tutto sommato riduttivo. Però insomma, ci siamo capiti, no?

(...avrei dovuto bere un po' meno stasera xD)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

Oh, ma io sono otaku dentro e fiera di esserlo (a proposito, grazie della dritta su Lady Oscar e Kiss Me Licia su Friendfeed, mi sto riguardando tutte le puntate. ^_^)

E' il fatto dello slash che ogni tanto fa emergere dei dubbi e mi fa pensare "Oddio, sono una persona orribile e malata." Poi passa, eh, ma quando si associa al momento "ODDIO HO 30 ANNI!" la storia si fa un pochino più complicata... ^_^''

[polarforscherin.livejournal.com]

Lately I've felt ridiculous because, man, I'm thirty and I still read and write fanfiction

Yes, I felt that too. So old and still so stupid. But I think, I have every right to have a weird hobby, if I love it so much. Other people collect stamps. XD

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

>> Other people collect stamps.

And even pay money for them! ;)

[whatthefuckbenj.livejournal.com]

I like deep friendships, damaged characters who are apparently unable to love, USTs.
Oh me too! Snape's just perfect in that regard! Which HP pairing is your fav?

I see the attraction of H/W but for whatever reason it couldn't completely lure me in yet (might have something to do with having to read the books in school..)

Sometimes I think I should just grow up, for God's sake..
I've felt like that too but then I see DÄ behaving like 13-year-olds and think it's alright. 'Growing up' is totally overrated and it's a fact that people who never grew up 100% are clearly having more fun =)
Besides I think everybody has or should have a 'dirty little secret' (if we can call it that)

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

I started out reading Snape/Harry, then went on to Snape/Lupin and Snape/Lily (long before it became canon). It's just so easy to write angst when Snape is involved... ;)