Panic panic panic

[gothikmaus]

Fuck. I was all calm and happy this morning, then my boss calls and tells me "We're going to a business lunch today, meet me at the station in a couple of hours." Business lunch = job interview for me. I panicked. I thought "WTF, I'm supposed to work here till September, what now?" Well, I may end up changing my job location at the end of the month. Fuckfuckfuck. I don't want to. I told him I'd rather stay here, I don't really think I've got enough experience for the new job, but in the end he's the one who's going to decide.

I don't know what to do. The job I'm currently doing (programmer) is NOT what I want to do for the rest of my life, but my boss seems to think otherwise. I mean, yes, it's not so bad, sometimes it's even fun, it's quite well paid, but... I'd rather do something else. I'm just trying to make as much money as I can, so I can quit when I decide what I really want to do. I have an idea of what I'd rather be doing, but I want to be 100% sure before I quit this job. I've even started looking for post-university courses, I would go back to studying if I found something interesting enough, but so far I didn't find anything special.

Fuck, I have to start looking for alternatives. Seriously. I've already wasted enough time. My problem is that I don't have a clear idea of what I want to do. I mean, yes, my dream is to become a writer, I have ideas for a couple of novels and some shorter stories, but that's not going to be easy. That's why I want to make a bit of money now that I can. But it looks like I'm just wasting my time.

Well, in the meantime, here's a drawing I did for one of my colleagues, it's one of our co-workers at Milan's Marathon. It's an inside joke, because he goes jogging along one of Milan's canals and we always tell him he races with rats. It's probably only funny for us, but here's the link anyway.

http://doitcalcio.blogspot.com/2006/04/ultime-da-milano-superpippo-alla.html

Also, I may have difficulties using internet in the next few days, so if I'm not online as much as I am now don't worry, I'm still here.

And tonight I have to meet up with those guys to talk about the band. I'm really not in the mood.

*sigh*

Comments

[dienacht.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel, I'm going through the same situation. I know I'm better than this, this job is something I'd never be doing right now, if it wasn't for the fact they're going to try an sponsor me here, I probably would have quit my now. *sigh* It's sucks being ina situation like this, with no idea of what to do. I mean, once I'm sponsored I can do whatever I like. But sadly, I don't really know what that is, and it's still a while away yet :(

[gothikmaus.livejournal.com]

You know what really makes me feel bad? Everyone thinks I was born to do this job, because I learn quite quickly and my boss thinks I've got a brilliant career in front of me. And all I can think of is "God, when will I finally be able to quit?" *sigh*