gothikmaus | Mood swings and meme

I was bored and wasted some time doing the Einbürgerungstest (btw, do people really have to take the test to get German citizenship?) There are 300 questions and I got fed up at the 50th, but I only got 3 wrong, that's not too bad, is it? Most of the questions were quite easy though, at least for me, since I took 2 Public Law Exams in university and Italian and German laws aren't so different.

I'm tired of mood swings. This morning I was totally depressed and was thinking of sending the camera back because, let's be honest, what the fuck was I thinking when I ordered it? Even if I took a photography course, then what? It was just a waste of money. Oh well, I have a couple of days to think it over.

I also saw the "Give me a fandom and I'll name my favourite..." meme, but since my current active fandoms are Die Ärzte and Richy Guitar, and the character choice in RG is quite limited, I'll just go ahead and answer on my own. Feel free to give me a different fandom if you're curious. Fandoms I've written in: The Cure, Harry Potter, Lupin the Third and a few others I don't remember right now. Just have a look at my site. :P

FANDOM: DIE ÄRZTE

Favorite character: Bela B.
Least favorite character: Uhm... Sahnie? No, wait: Jenny Elvers! XD
Character with the best hair: ROD! Ooh, shiny...
Character with the best eyes: Bela
Character I'd most want to kiss: Bela
Character I'd most likely shag: HAHA, as if any of them would want to shag me
Character I'd make lunch for: mmh, maybe Farin? Because I can't cook meat. XD
Character I'd go singing in the rain with: Bela
Character I'd go shopping with: Bela! And we'd buy something outrageously tacky. XD
Character I'd go dancing with: Rod
Character I'd take over the world with: Farin! MWHAHAHA.
Character I most want to see more of: Bela. Or Rod, because we've already seen everything of the other two. Huhu.
Favorite het pairing: Bela/Mareike (SHUT UP, THEY LOOKED CUTE TOGETHER)
Favorite slash pairing: Bela/Farin DUH.

And a pic someone posted on the DÄOF Forum. Oh, Bela.

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But I always feel terrible whenever I spend more than 100 euros on something I don't really need. The only thing I don't feel guilty for are concerts and holidays (which go often hand in hand since I ALWAYS HAVE TO GO ABROAD TO SEE MY FAVOURITE BAND FOR FUCK'S SAKE PLAY IN ITALY YOUR ARSEHOLES! Ehm...)

You know, I was brought up this way and now it's difficult to change. My parents' philisophy is that you can spend more money on holiday because: a) holidays come only once (or twice) a year and b) holidays are a way to let go of all the stress you piled up during the year, so if you don't go on holiday sooner or later you'll go crazy. My mother got so pissed off when I told her I didn't want to go on holiday a few years ago, she all but forced me to go. XD She was right though, I needed that.

Even when I go shopping during sales I always try to spend as little money as possible, unless there's something I really need, like when my boots were falling apart, and I mean litterally, the sole had come off.

Man, I need a shrink. =/

Okay, it's different in my family. My grandparents lived in poverty after the war, but reached a very good income relatively fast. So there was lots of stuff to buy and they did, because they were finnaly able to. My parents didn't change that way. I learned that it's okay to spend your money, because you worked for it and deserve to spend it for things you like, doesn't matter what. I think, I'm the first person since 60 years who tries to be more reasonable. Honourable resolution, but I fail too often. ;)

Na, you don't need a shrink. We don't want to know, but we are very much more our parent's children as we want it.

Well, my parents lived in poverty after the war too (they're both in their late '60s) and they were never rich. So, knowing they had to made sacrifices for everything (buying a house, paying for my studies), I feel bad for spending my money on things I don't need, because I think "My parents never had the chance of buying something nice for themselves and only had money after my dad retired and got his... uhm, Abfindung? And here I am wasting my money like this." Which doesn't make much sense, I know, but... I grew up sensing it in the family (even if my parents did their best to hide it), so it's not easy to get rid of this way of thinking.

Sure it isn't. We spend very much time with them and adopt their way. I wish, it would be easier to forget a few things. ;)

I think, the Wirtschaftswunder made lots of things possible. My grandfathers were industrial workers, but their jobs were well paid. There was peace again and they had the money, so they wanted to have fun.

I know my parents probably want me to have the life they couldn't have, earlier I told my mother I feel guilty whenever I spend "too much money" and she looked at me with a face that said "ARE YOU CRAZY?", but I feel guilty all the same. =/

SHRINK! XD

Damn. Mothers seem to have a special secret power to make us feel every way they want. My mother always tries to talk me into the life she didn't have. She wasn't allowed to go out and expects me to do it excessively today. I disappoint her with being uninterested... ;)

Shrink, too. XD

Mood swings and meme

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