I know how you feel, I'm going through the same situation. I know I'm better than this, this job is something I'd never be doing right now, if it wasn't for the fact they're going to try an sponsor me here, I probably would have quit my now. *sigh* It's sucks being ina situation like this, with no idea of what to do. I mean, once I'm sponsored I can do whatever I like. But sadly, I don't really know what that is, and it's still a while away yet :(